All That I Ever Was
by emotrash1331
Summary: Scout was just a normal girl who fell in love with a normal boy, and together they shared a hard to find love. When tragedy strikes, you can't give up. Stay strong and love on. A Jacksepticeye X Reader Trigger Warning: Some possibly triggering scenes or topics.
1. Chapter One: Pouring Rain

It had been raining for almost a whole week now. I was getting ready to go play basketball with some of my friends when Delilah came to see what I was doing. Delilah was my best friend, and my roommate. We'd known each other since we were just kids.

"Whatcha doing hon?" she asked and threw her arm around me. She looked adorable today, as always. Her hair was styled into cute little braided pigtails.

"I'm gonna go play basketball with Sean and Mark. You wanna come with?" I asked her and dribbled my basketball on the deck of our tiny apartment building.

"I'm good. I think I'll stay inside and watch TV." she said and wrapped her coat tightly around her.

"Are you gonna have Christian over?" I asked her, brushing a flyaway out of my face and trying to put it back inside my baseball cap. She looked at the ground and walked out to the railing.

"Yeah I think I will. Maybe they'll be some leftovers when you get back. I ordered pizza." she laughed. Eh, I was getting sick of pizza anyway.

"Okay then, I'll see you when I get back. Love you sis." I said, giving her a hug. She hugged me back and let me go. I went downstairs and went outside. It was cold and rainy. I started walking down the road to the basketball court.

I pulled my hood up and waited for the road to be clear. Who was I kidding. It wasn't like anyone ever drove here. But you know, safety.

"Hey she's here!" Mark's voice echoed across the road. I noticed that both Mark and Sean's hair was protected from the rain. Mark, by his favorite dark grey sweatshirt, and Sean by the black hoodie I wore for a little while once. They were big babies. Had to keep their hair perfect.

"Aye!" I waved and ran across the road. I tossed the ball to Sean, and he caught it. I laid my old blanket on the bench so I wouldn't sit on rainwater. Finally, I sat down on the bench and tied up my Converse.

I dribbled the basketball on the wet concrete as I started humming something I had stuck in my head. "How are you, beautiful?" Mark said and threw his arm around me.

"I'm great..." I looked up at him, smiling. But, it wasn't a real smile. And they knew that. Sean stood beside me, ready to take my hand when I broke down. "You guys are my reason." I said as a tear slid down my cheek.

Sean wrapped his arms around me and held me. "I know you don't need anyone asking you what's wrong... You can tell us if you want though. Always." he said and hugged me tighter.

"I know. Thank you guys so much." I said and wiped the tears from my eyes. "I wish it was something that you could fix. But, you try. And that's more than anyone has done." I said, almost breaking down again.

I sniffled as Mark took his turn and gave me a hug. These two had been here for me through everything. The anxiety, the depression, the constant panic attacks... They gave me hope for a normal life. Mark took the basketball from me and made a hoop.

"COME ON GUYS. STEP UP TO ME." Mark laughed. Sean gave me my basketball, so I got up and ran over to the hoop. I backed up a few steps and went for it. Without hesitation, it went through the basket.

"Oooh looks like you've got some competition." Sean said to Mark, patting him on the shoulder. He looked at me, running his fingers through his shamrock colored hair. I shrugged and grabbed the basketball making a perfect hoop.

"As I always say, you're good, but not good enough." I giggled.

"You do always say that now that I think of it! That should be your catchphrase." Sean smiled at me. After playing basketball for about 15 minutes, I sat down to get a drink.

"Do you guys wanna go for a walk?" Mark asked, randomly.

"Yeah sure, if Scout wants to." Sean said and pulled his hood over his head. It was raining pretty hard now. I love the rain.

"Why not? Where do you wanna go and how far though?" I laughed.

"I say we go wherever the wind takes us. Maybe for once, let's just not have plans."

"Sounds wonderful. Let's go." I said. Our footsteps stirred up rain puddles as we headed down the street. The air smelled like fresh rain. "I'm gonna call Delilah to come with us." I said and grabbed my phone, hiding it from the rain, and dialing her number.

"Yeah?" she picked it up. "Oh hey, Christian just left. You okay?"

"I'm great. Wanna come for a walk with us?" I asked her and moved my hair.

"Sure. You guys still up there at the basketball court?"

"Yea. We'll wait for you." I said and hung up. I sat down on the corner with Sean. His sapphire eyes were sparkling as he looked into mine.

"Can I lay my head on your shoulder?" I asked him.

"You don't have to ask me," he laughed. "Of course you can." he said and threw his arm around me while we waited for Delilah. A few minutes later her cute little head popped up on the other side of the street.

"Aww how cute! Mark, you better watch these two." She laughed as she sat beside us. I blushed, and gave her a friendly shove. "You ready?" she giggled and took my hand, helping me up.

"Yeeeee." I said in a quiet hush. I took Delilah's hand and held it tight as we walked. The trees seemed to be showing us the way to get out of the busy part of town. It was so beautiful passed the boundaries. No matter where we were.

Sean looked at me for a second, sort of smiling in a way he hadn't smiled at me before. "What's up Sean?" I said and threw my arm around his neck. He laughed and looked away for a second.

"You'll have to come to Mark's place tomorrow. We're gonna be recording and we need an extra player." he smirked.

"I could definitely do that. What are gonna be doing for the vid?" I looked at him as a small giggle escaped from my lips.

"Who's Most Likely To!" he laughed and looked at me, blushing.

"Sounds great. Risky, but great." I smiled. After a little while we just sat down underneath a tree and made jokes about the most random things. And before I knew it, I was all alone again.


	2. Chapter Two: Little Miss Sunshine

Note*

I edited it a lot from this part of the story for reasons I don't want to talk about so it's a lot shorter than it originally was. Thanks for your attention. Enjoy the story. (w)

Wake up babe! Sean's called more than 5 times!" I heard Delilah as she shook me awake. I looked up at her, her head covering rays of sunshine.

"Good morning..." I said and tossed a pillow at her.

"More like afternoon." she huffed. "How about get up and go before Sean thinks you're unreliable. Well, we all know you are but don't let him know that." she laughed.

"Crap!" I got up and bumped into the door. "Ouch." I said and rubbed my eyes. I couldn't see anything. It felt like my eyes were glued shut.

"Don't worry hon, I got an outfit picked out for you and I got some warm Starbucks waiting for you downstairs." she said and put her arms around me. It took me a minute to realize what she said, but then when it processed my heart felt calm and warm.

"Delilah, I don't know how to thank you." I said and wrapped her up in my arms. Her dress flowed down to her knees as she held me tighter.

"You don't have to. Just go tell Sean what really happened so he doesn't think you're... oh nevermind." she let go and went downstairs. I got into my outfit that Delilah had... skillfully picked out for me. Wow. She was getting good at this.

I ran downstairs to see that it was still raining. I grabbed my Starbucks cup and headed out the door. "Love you Delilah!" I said and shut the door, hearing a muffled echo. "What?" I opened the door and peeked my head in to hear what she said.

"Want me to drive you?" she asked sweetly, pulling her bangs behind her ear. She was so beautiful when she smiled.

"Yea sure." I said and ran out to get in the car. When we got there I gave her a hug before she drove home. When I knocked on the door, Sean opened it for me.

"Hey." he gave me a hug. "I was waiting for you." he smiled into my eyes.

"I'm sorry I took so long to get out here. I sorta slept in." I giggled.

"It's okay," he laughed and walked in with me, his arm around my shoulder.

"Ah, hey Scout. You look really good today. As always." he said and looked at me, sincerity in his eyes. So, he wasn't joking.

"Thanks," I giggled. "You do too." I said and plopped myself down on the couch next to him. "So can someone tell me what some of these questions are before I get myself into something terrible." I started laughing.

"Can't tell you. I don't even know." Mark laughed. "Sean won't tell me either." he said. "Me and Amy broke up last night..." he looked at my, sadness in his eyes.

"I am so sorry Mark..." I said and held out my hand. He ignored me and turned his head towards the wall and stared at it blankly. I took his hand anyway and wrapped him in a hug. "She didn't deserve you..." I smiled at him.

"Thank you..." he said and went into the living room. He sat on the couch with his head in his hands. "It's just... WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME." he shouted. I turned his face towards me to see that he was crying.

I sat beside him and held him in my arms. Sean sat down beside him.

"Do you still wanna do the video today?" Sean asked. Mark shook his head no. The next thing I knew we were chilling, just watching a movie and being lazy. Mark's other friend, Felix, came over to watch the movie with us.

Mark was sitting next to me covered up in a blanket with a bowl of popcorn that he shared with Felix. Jack was laying down, his head on my lap, as I moved my fingers through his soft hair.

"Hi there." he smiled up at me. I was so glad that I had Jack in my life He really was my best friend.

"I love you." I giggled. I looked around me to see Mark and Felix laughing about a weird part in the movie, and peacefulness. Delilah came over later and had dinner before she drove me home. I talked her ear off telling her what happened earlier.

When we got home, every single thing I had done all day went through my mind. It confused me, but I was guessing it was just the being tired. "Goodnight..." Delilah's voice whispered as she covered me up and turned the light off.


	3. Chapter Three: Puzzle Pieces

Later the next day I remembered that Sean was going to be going back to Ireland for about a month or so to see his family. He was leaving in about a week, and it was bad timing for all of us.

Mark needed his support now more than ever, and now, to be honest, so did I. Mark and I had always been best friends, but with Sean there was always something else.

I loved spending time with him in a way I didn't with Mark. I didn't want him to go. Deep inside I knew that my heart was waiting, but it was waiting for him. I knew better though. Nothing would ever happen between me and Sean. We were just really good friends.

Mark had some friends over to record with, so Sean and I figured we'd go out one more time before he left. I picked him up from his house to get some Starbucks. I got my favorite frappe, and he got his favorite.

Instead of going in, we went to the closest beach we knew of. It was evening, and the air was cool, but exhausted from all the rain. We walked down to the beach. He looked out at the sky that looked like a watercolor painting.

"I'm gonna miss this place. But mostly you." he looked at me with a smile I would never forget.

"I'm gonna miss you too babe." I said and looked at him, with tears in my eyes. "I feel like I haven't told you lately how much I care about you." I said.

"I feel the same way," he said, sitting down on the sand right at the edge of the water.

"Let's make tonight the best day we've spent. Just you and me." he put his arm around me.

"Sean... please don't go..." a tear fell down my cheek. I looked up at him to see something shocking. He was crying too.

"I need to ask you something." he said, wiping my tears. "I love you so much. I know this might not work, and I understand. But I can't stop thinking about you. And I need you in my life." he said. My heart was both shocked but settled.

He pulled out a ring box. "This is a promise ring... and I wanna know something... Will you be my girlfriend?" he smiled through tears.

"Of course I will Sean. I love you too." I smiled. He slipped the ring on my finger. "Sean," I looked into his eyes. "I don't want you to go..."

"That's why I was wondering if you'd like to come with me to Ireland. To meet my family and all, and just to spend some time together and get closer. It'd be like a, really long date. We could stay at my old cabin. You could even stay in my old room if you want." he laughed. "I could show you everything. It'd be wonderful." he said and took my hand.

"Yes!" I threw my arms around him. I was feeling everything at once. This moment was perfect. My heart was filled with happiness and warmth. Everything felt right.

After we got back from the beach I came over to his place and filmed his video about going back to Ireland, and I was in it. It made me happy to see him so happy about something that would be naturally really tough.

When I got back home, I felt nervous about telling Delilah. I didn't know how to tell her that I'd be leaving for a pretty long time. I felt that Mark would be feeling the same. "Hey..." I said as Delilah opened the door for me.

"Hey! How was tonight?" she asked as I moved my hair behind my ear, blushing like crazy. "Whoa! What's this!" she said and grabbed my hand, analyzing the ring on my finger.

"IT'S A PROMISE RING FROM SEAN!" I exploded with happiness so suddenly. She looked really surprised at first but after I squealed for about 4 minutes straight I think she understood how happy I was.

"Wait, you two are together?" she gasped. I nodded like I had too much sugar. "Great." she smiled. "What all did you do tonight?"

"Wait! There's more..." I said, nervously sweating. I didn't want to see her reaction to me leaving.

"Okay, go ahead." she giggled. I was trying to prepare myself for telling her this. It took me a moment but I figured I'd just go for it.

"I'm going with him to Ireland." I spit out the words like a really sour piece of candy. I looked up at her, her face blank. I couldn't read her expression, and it scared me.

"Really? Okay, c'mon, I'll help you pack somewhat before bed." she said. I was really surprised at her reaction. I thought she wouldn't have been happy, but wow.

We went upstairs and played our favorite music pretty loudly. After I'd got mostly done packing Sean called me to tell me he'd got plans made for the flight there.

I was so excited about this. This wasn't only great because we'd been friends for so long, but because we were dating now. Delilah had me work really hard on packing enough stuff for a whole month.

I couldn't even explain how tired I was that night after all of that packing. I had about a week left to get everything together. Short notice maybe, but with Sean and Delilah's help I think I was mostly done by Wednesday.

The hardest part of it all was saying goodbye to Delilah and Mark for a whole month. But knowing in my mind that I would be with my Sean, I was okay. Before I know it, it was the day.


End file.
